Changing Perceptions of the "Good Guy"

Most people would agree that the relationship between two friends who are not of the same gender has changed greatly over the past several years. Generation Y has embraced platonic friendships between a male and female as young adults have never have done before in American history. The Baby Boomers were all about free love with friends and all those around you. Before that there were very strict social norms governing dating, courtship and how boys and girls could interact in both public and private. The complications arise today when someone harks back to practices of the previous generations. When a person comes on to a friend due to loneliness or another form of depression, that friend now has a very difficult choice to make. Due to one specific episode of a popular sitcom that helped define modern times, it is often times unclear which response is the correct decision.

For many years the general rule was simple: No matter how drunk or upset someone was, a good friend was always there for them but never in that way. If a friend proceeded down that path, then that person was considering to be taking advantage of the one who was hurting and labeled an abuser of the situation. Countless books, magazines and movies depicted a complying friend as using the one in need while the other person was a victim. This all changed with the 2004 airing of episode number 232 in the popular television series Friends.

During the show, fan favorite Rachel Green (Jennifer Aniston) discovered her father had a heart attack. After returning home from the hospital, she and her loyal friend Ross Geller (David Schwimmer) had the following dialogue.

Ross: No, God. Hey, Rach, you've been an amazing daughter, ok? Right now you just need to get some rest.
Rachel: Ok, maybe you're right (he kisses her on the forehead).
Ross: Good night.
Rachel: Wait, wait, wait, wait. Would you stay here with me for a little while?
Ross: Sure!
Rachel: Ok (she sits on the bed and Ross sits near her). Thank you for coming with me today.
Ross: Oh, of course...
Rachel: Rachel Green is very happy you're in her room!
Ross: Me too. Come here (they hug).
Rachel: I just don't want to be alone tonight.
Ross: Ok, well, uh, I can maybe grab a sleeping bag, or... (there's one of those moments. they're staring at each other, no word uttered, and then she leans toward him in order to kiss him, but he ducks and avoids her more than once.) Oh, oh. (he then hugs her and when she tries to kiss him again, he stands up and she falls down on the bed). No, Rach! I'm sorry, I just don't think this, this, this is a good idea.
Rachel: Wait, we won't know that until we do it, will we?
Ross: No, look, uh. You are upset about your father and you're feeling vulnerable and I just don't feel it would be right. I'd feel like I'd be, you know, taking advantage of you.
Rachel: Taking advantage? I'm giving you the advantage, enjoy!
Ross: Look, I'm sure it would be great, but I-I think one of us has to be thinking clearly, so, I'm gonna go!
Rachel: Wow. Ok.
Ross: I'll see you in the morning (he leaves).
Rachel: Mhm-mh!
Ross: (outside her room, talking by himself) I haven't had sex in four months, I should get a medal for that!

According to the conventions of the past, the character Ross did an honorable thing. But that all changed minutes later in a scene that took place the next day in the local coffee shop.

Ross: Hey Rach, can you grab me a cup of coffee?
Rachel: (She turns around very slowly, looks at him for a second and then turns back to her coffee) Sure (She gives him the cup she was pouring for herself without looking at him).
Ross: You've been quiet all morning. Is everything okay?
Rachel: Hmm-hmm (she starts to pour herself a cup of coffee, never looking at Ross).
Ross: You sure you're alright?
Rachel: (coldly) Yep.
Ross: (knowing she's not alright) O-kay. Well, I'm gonna go grab us some breakfast. (He starts to leave)
Rachel: FYI..
Ross: (knew this was coming) There it is... (he comes back)
Rachel: In the future, when a girl asks for some ill-advised sympathy sex... just do it (she smiles fakely at him).
Ross: (half amused) Wait, wait (looks around a little) . You're mad at me about last night? I was just trying to do the right thing.
Rachel: (sarcastically) Really? Well, it seems to me if you'd done the right thing, I would not have woken up today feeling stupid and embarrassed, I would have woken up feeling comforted and satisfied!
Ross: Well...
Rachel: Oh stop that!
Ross: I can't believe this. I was just being a good guy. I treated you with respect and understanding.
Rachel: (sarcastic) Oh, that is so hot.
Ross: Hey, I was looking out for you.
Rachel: Oh, really, well Ross, you know what? I am a big girl. I don't need someone telling me what is best for me.
Ross: I gotta say, I have not had sex a lot of times before, but this is the worst ever.
Rachel: Oh, really, really? Well, it wasn't very good for me either. (She turns to leave and Ross over takes her and stands infront on her, his back to the row of doors leading to the hospital rooms)Ross: Hey you know what? You know what? To avoid this little thing in the future, let's just say, you and me, never having sex again.

This comedic exchange had an enormous effect on society that true friends can still feel all these years later. When people across the country view this show, they ask themselves and each other, "Does Rachel have a point? Would Ross have aided her more if he would have complied with her request? What are the positive outcomes for rejecting someone in that state of affairs?" Some may argue that the two characters' intimate relationship in the past (and future) should be factored into the assessment, but this is irrelevant. Many close friends have had been romantically linked in the past or will become involved with each other in the future. Thanks to another culture-changing sitcom of the time, people can expect this, as this is where many good friends come from after all. But the moment people see the aforementioned sequence, as so many have by now, an undeniable paradigm shift occurs. People expect a new set of behavioral rules and young adults are now acting on these beliefs. The accommodating friend can now be the hero and should receive only gratitude from the victim and respect from their peers. This common experience concludes radically different than ever before and has revolutionized the interactions of all.